Blog: Pattisonisphere

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Saturday lunchtime found me heading for Leicester, or to be exact Woodhouse Eaves, for the ROCK EVENT of the Season - PATTISONISPHERE!

This was the long-anticipated extravaganza to mark the 50th Birthday of our own Mr Tim Pattison, which was taking place in the Village Hall. Tim's original plan was to get EVERY band he had EVER been in to reform and play a couple of songs during the course of a day long festival of ROCK. Luckily for his own sanity (and all of ours) this had been whittled down over time to a much more reasonable three - The Torture Garden (his first band proper), Prolapse (hence the low-key warm-up last week) and us.

Once I'd got to Leicester and checked into the Premier Inn I strolled across town to St Margaret's bus station. "It's so much better these days," I thought, "now that there are big signs clearly telling you where the buses go from." The only trouble with this was that MY bus was not on ANY signs, and it took some PANICKY QUEUING in the info centre to discover that the signs were "playing up", followed by a DASH back to the other end of the station to catch my bus.

Five minutes into the journey I was joined by Mr T "The Tiger" McClure, and we arrived in Woodhouse Eaves not long after to find it a HIVE of activity. The Torture Garden had just finished their practice in the scout hut (which would serve as DRESSING ROOM later on!) and so PA systems were being moved into the main room, lights were going up, food was being brought in, and all manner of people were dashing about setting things up and moving things around. It was all quite exhausting!

Soon Mr F A Machine arrived and we were able to drag Mrs E Pattison away from her Project Management duties for long enough to have a sound check. Last time we played the Village Hall the sound wasn't particularly great, and I was AFEARED that this would be the case again, but as usual I had forgotten that the REASON you do a soundcheck is to get the sound right, and that it will ALWAYS sound a bit weird to start with. EVERY time we do a soundcheck I panic at the start, and have to remind myself that the POINT of this is to sort it out!

With that all done we left Prolapse to take their turn and Emma to continue her work, while me, Frankie and Tom popped down the road to the pub, where we were joined by Mr M Petersdorf and family, not long arrived from distant GERMANY. We had a right old chinwag, which continued when we moved down the road to the OTHER pub in the village, as the first one had been fully booked for food. It was all a bit GLAM in the second pub, demonstrated most clearly by the fact that we were soon also joined by Sorted Supremo Dave Dixey!

After dining we headed back to the Village Hall, which was now full of PEOPLE and a PARTY in full swing. I had been following text message updates from The Points Of My Plan who had got the train to Loughborough and taxied it from there, so was a) relieved b) DELIGHTED when she rolled up not long after us. Now the PARTY could truly get going!

What followed was a BLOODY BRILLIANT evening of boozing, yacking, dancing, eating and occasional interruptions for ROCK BANDS. The beer was supplied by Mr Jimmy Machine, who had come with Mrs Joanne Machine bearing a barrel of BEER what he had made himself - it was DELICIOUS. The dancing meanwhile was provided by DJ TURK, demonstrating all the skills, and even more of the LARFING, that he used to demonstrate all those many years ago back at The Tube Bar!

Tim had got himself different OUTFITS for each of the acts, and he looked VERY dapper when The Torture Garden took to the stage, wearing a paisley shirt, waistcoat and sunglasses. I think it was meant to look funny, but it actually really suited him, as if he was meant to STILL be a GOTH and dress accordingly! It was pretty fab to actually SEE The Torture Garden, which we have heard about SO many times over the year!

It was pretty fab in a lot of ways really - the GRATE thing about being in a band with the same people for SUCH a long time is that you end up intertwined in each other's ACTUAL LIVES, so at things like this you bump into FAMILY who feel like your own cousins and PALS from other people's work or villages who feel like your own. It's lovely, especially when it leads to an ANIMATED conversation with your bandmate's brother-in-law about the current season at Peterborough United!

Prolapse were on second, and it was STRANGE to say the least to see them in a Village Hall, playing NOT at the usual high volume, but it seemed to work! Then it was our turn, and we went armed with SURPRISES. Unbeknownst to Tim, The Validators had spent the previous few weeks organising Pattisonisphere t-shirts, with a BACK PRINT sort of like The Reading Festival adverts, with EVERY band he'd EVER been in listed on it. THUS when we took to the stage I was able to say "Tim! THE BAND are wearing Pattisonisphere t-shirts!" and then we all removed our OUTER GARMENTS to reveal matching t-shirts beneath. I passed Tim his shirt and he looked BLOODY DELIGHTED by the whole thing - also ASTONISHED! It was GRATE!

We then did our set, which went like this:

Billy Jones Is Dead

20 Things To Do Before You're 30

Do The Indie Kid

Easily Impressed

Dinky Doo

We Did It Anyway

Notable surprises for the birthday boy including having to do a DRUM SOLO during Do The Indie Kid, Frankie's introduction of the 'Brooklyn 99' theme tune during Introducing The Band, and Emma singing an un-setlisted rendition of Dinky Doo towards the end. It was all in all RATHER a lot of fun, and I think Tim liked it. We certainly did!

Afterwards there was further hugging, boozing, eating (there were PILES of Samosas and Pakoras, it was ACE), yacking and DANCING, including a mass Validators Dance Frenzy when The Cure came on. Eventually though it was time to go, and myself and The Songs On My Playlist headed into the night to wait (AGES!) for our taxi, and then to go back to The Premier Inn.

The next day felt a lot like the aftermath of Indietracks, as everyone was poised over their phones hoping for MORE pictures and MORE comments on how GRATE it had all been, as a way of making it all last a little bit longer. Lots of people said that Tim and Emma should do it again - I for one would heartily agree!

posted 10/9/2018 by MJ Hibbett

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