My Exciting Life in ROCK (part 2): European Championships Correspondent at 6Music

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One of the big INSPIRATIONS for releasing the "Shed Anthems" EP, and especially for having "The Fair Play Trophy (again)" on it, was the HUGE amount of FUN I'd had at Christmas when me and a HORDE of PALS had gone into Broadcasting House to record a version of it for Steve Lamacq's New Year show. The THRUST of the show was that we were broadcasting from a year in the future, and so I'd done a lot of talking about how we'd released "The Fair Play Trophy (again)" as a single, and it'd been a MASSIVE HIT.

I guess Mr Lamacq must have felt some responsibility for making this HAPPEN, as come the summer he invited me in to be his European Championships Correspondent. The idea was that every week (he had a Sunday afternoon show at the time) during the championships I'd come into the studio to perform a BRAND NEW version of the song, with lyrics cunningly re-written to reflect events. This was all VERY exciting as I have long cherished the idea of being a ROVING SONG REPORTER. I LOVE writing songs to order, as it's all the fun of songs without the hard bit of thinking of a THEME first, and the fact that I was going to be SWANNING into The BBC, as a TEAM MEMBER (if only briefly) was like a dream come true.

Just don't mention Richard Stilgoe, all right?

Writing the first version of the song was a MASSIVE struggle - I don't really know much at ALL about The Football, so had to do a LOT of research to make sure I didn't mess it up, and only got it finished a couple of HOURS before I was due in. When we went on the air Mr Lamacq explained THE PLAN to The Listeners, then said "So, it'll be a different version every week, but starting today he'll be playing the original single version." I was FLABBERGASTED! I'd SWEATED BLOOD over this version, and it turned out I could have got away with just doing the normal one!

The next week was no less difficult, especially as its first draft was REJECTED by The Grass On My Pitch and, when I sent it in a HUFF hoping to DISPROVE her opinion, by Official Fact Checker Mr Tim Pattison. As ever I went back to it thinking "PAH! What do they know?" and ended up writing a MUCH better new version. Luckily I put the new lyrics up on my webpage, as I LOST them on the way to the studio and, if it hadn't been for BBC Printers, would have had to have done it all over AGAIN.

Mr Lamacq was away on official business that weekend so had pre-recorded the show mid-week, but in order for me to keep my bit as up to date as possible I waited until the FRIDAY before going to sit in, basically, a CUPBOARD with the Engineer Guy. BBC Engineering Guys are AMAZING. They really do know their stuff - I completely messed up the last verse but, rather than do it again, he managed to SPLICE it together with a re-take of the last bit, gaily LEAPING over my inadequacies in timing and inability to ever play anything the same way twice.

The next week was in some ways slightly LESS glamorous, as most of 6Music were off at Glastonbury, so the offices were DESERTED. However, this meant that, as Mr Lamacq was broadcasting LIVE from the site, there was a whole studio set up in Broadcasting House to accommodate ME doing a Live Satellite Link-Up. This was a WHOLE lot of fun, though I do fear that, without someone in my eye-line doing "please stop talking now" GLARES, I may have BLATHERED ON just a touch.

The nicest thing was that I was getting USED to it all, especially things like me and Tim's weekly Football Conference (he moved from FACT Checker at the start to LYRICS PROVIDER by the end, he's very good a IDEAS is Tim) and the whole experience of FLOUNCING into Central London of a Sunday afternoon to BROADCAST to listeners everywhere. I thus became very RELAXED - everyone else was dashing about ensuring the show went to plan, I just sat back and, well, YACKED ON.

So it was with a tinge of SADNESS that I rolled up next week to do my LAST session... although this was somewhat mitigated by rolling up with THREE Validators and assorted CHILDREN to do a final BIG BAND version. We'd played a gig in Leeds the night before so came down EN MASSE still filled up with ROCK. We got there nice and early so we'd have time for a bit of a practice in THE HUB. I've not been in recently, and I know they've relocated it so that it may now be the ultra-glamorous ROCK NERVE CENTRE that it always SOUNDS like when they broadcast gigs from it, but back then THE HUB was the Staff Rest Room, so you'd always see members of STAFF wandering in and out. They also had a table football game in there, on which I taught Miss Edie Pattison the RUDIMENTS of SPINNING - if she's ever representing Team GB in The Women's Olympic Table Football, you will know who to thank.

Edie also helped Tim set up his drums, as we were ASSEMBLING them in THE HUB in order to enable a) a quick entrance to the studio and b) a PRACTICE. The odd thing was that Edie would PLAY the drums too, so you'd keep thinking "Eh? That was a bit of a JAZZ FILL for Tim wasn't it?" and look over to realise it wasn't him who'd played it.

When it was time to go in it became clear that we were MUCH greater in number than previous, and I distinctly recall Mr Steve Lamacq looking AFEARED as Tim set up his small, but still powerful, drum kit RIGHT beside him and proceeded to WALLOP it. After a quick chat we were OFF, and I have to say that, after the previous week's EASE this was NERVE WRACKING. It's often like that playing as a band - I get so CONCERNED about the WELFARE of everybody else that I FORGET that I'm meant to be playing MYSELF, so mess up, put everyone else out of joint, WORRY about it, and go round again in a DEADLY CIRCLE OF FEAR. That's my excuse anyway - it's because I CARE TOO MUCH.

Soon it was all over, to much CHEER and RELIEF, and after a brief trip to the PUB (which didn't allow children inside, HENCE the brevity) we said our goodbyes, The Validators heading back to The Midlands and myself and The Hook In My Hit going to PUTNEY for an Otway gig. Otway gigs are always UTTERLY AMAZING and this one was no exception (especially as he was doing an All New Set), although I wasn't entirely able to appreciate it due to being slightly DAZED. It slowly dawned on me that this had been one of the BEST things I'd EVER done in ROCK. Just to be ASKED to do something as a) proper b) DAFT c) laden with potential for DOOM was exciting enough, but then to go on and not only DO it, but have a WHALE of a time in the process, was something altogether more special. It really was like a dream come true, it was fantastic!

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