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Songs: Quality Of Life Enhancement Device

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The flat I used to have had two sockets per room
So I had to juggle the white goods that I'd accrued
My CD listening was spoilt because I'd always know
Afterwards I'd have to reprogram my video
Thus I existed with depleted Music Love
Until I spent two pounds upon a Four Way Plug

it was a
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device

I'd queue for hours to buy tickets for the train
Now I can buy online within six working days
I'd scold my hands by draining pasta with the lid
My nightmare ended on the day I bought a sieve
I would spend hours trying to sweep up my flat
With a dustpan and hand brush, then I bought a mini-vac

it was a
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device

And yes this also functions as a metaphor
For making little changes in life that make life much better or
Appreciating all the smaller simple things in life
That we normally don't appreciate and that is why
I'm setting up a webpage to collect a few e.g.s
E-mail me your suggestions for some QOLEDs

Bring me your
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device (it makes life easy)
Quality Of Life Enhancement Device

Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

I originally had the idea for this song years ago while I was in Voon, when the idea of spending a little bit of money to make a big difference to the ease of life was a really urgent one. We'd just got our first pound shop in Leicester and, as the song says, I'd got myself an extremely cheap four way plug so that I could plug the television in at the same time as other household implements and still have the video switched on. It really made a big difference to my life. I got the same level of joy shortly afterwards when I bought a proper clothes horse thing so that I could dry my (hand-washed!) clothes all at once, rather than having to queue them up to drape over the single radiator in my flat.

It was grim in The East Midlands. At least, it was in my flat.

Anyway, the chorus arrived fully formed and every time I'd get a new QOLED I'd sing it to myself without ever getting round to writing any verses. I thought about it again when we started having the practice sessions for the album and played the main riff to the band. They picked it up and it sounded really good, after which the actual words flowed pretty easily. The "it makes life easy" bit came from Emma, it's good isn't it?

The song originally asked for people to email in suggestions for their own QOLEDs in homage to the bit on "Smile" when Brian Wilson asks for people to write to him with their own personal favourite vegetables, but I soon realised that I could actually make a little website for it. Thus was born - originally it was just going to be for suggestions, but the Tim sent me one that rhymed in the same way as the original song does, and it took off from there. Now there's a long list of mini-poems that people have sent me, all celebrating tiny little items that make their lives much better, and I must say it's all rather moving. Go look!

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